There is an odd situation at work. The hooligan/s that daily leave the store in a state of ruin have begun to leave traces of a method, a pattern. Take a look:

Clearly these boxes are no longer in alphabetical order. Where there was once sense, there is now madness, and Rocky (Balboa) raises his fist in fury at it. The three shelves above the Italian Stallion are traditionally occupied by Reno 911!. Movies are frequently placed in front of others by the lazy masses, but the scale of this undertaking was unprecedented in my experience.

Frustrating as this was, patches of ‘misplaced’ movies lined most of the store. I suspected foul play. Redirect your attention to Exhibit A above. The only covered copies of Reno are the unrated copies, the rated ones are intact. The difference between the two is, of course, that the unrated box art features a great deal more of exposed female flesh. Several copies of the scandalous edition can be seen peeking through the images of a shadowy Marky Mark. Upon further investigation, I found that all of the covered cases were in a similar vein to Reno, that being one of disgusting displays of sexuality.

Yes, folks, we have a vigilante censor. Curious is the fact that no complaint about all this explicit boxart has ever been brought up to my or any other employee’s knowledge. Now, I presume that this is done as some sort of attempted child protection, but a parent barring (not baring, of course) breasts for their own child’s sake isn’t really feasible, as the child would be with said parent as they did this. The next most probable explanation is that someone hides the naughty bits of paper for the sake of the community’s children.

In a more overt form this kind of protest is commonplace nowadays, but this subtle motion is almost confounding. Do they do it for a sense of self-righteousness? Do they imagine their own children (grown or yet to be born) scarred by such sights? Do they themselves take offense at such commonplace sights? Do they wear a petticoat? Are they Republican?